Heat waved

I can't say I received any kind of strong impression upon arriving in Saigon's Tan Son Nhat Airport. Busy with the luggage and going through customs and such, I never had a moment to really stop and think that I'm stepping on "my mother's land, my father's home." Cheesy, but that's how my dad thinks of it, whereas I felt it was hot and humid and crowded. Dad had joked that he would kiss the ground when he arrived, to show deeply engrained love for someting I could not find so appealing. And it would be weeks until I could find something that I truly "loved" about the country.

Perhaps I'm mistakened, but I don't believe I romanticized any part of this trip--or even anything about this country. Far be it for me to say I was absolutely prepared to live in the city. I had the culture shock of my life! OK, I'm exaggerating now. But the truth is, I just never imagined it being so difficult to function in this society, in this environment. The heat is unbearable. Being from Texas, I thought I could endure the heat and humidity. Wrong! It's ten times worse b/c you can count on the tips of one hand the places that have AC. You could shower 4-5 times a day and still not feel clean. You don't have to step outside to need to close your eyes b/c of the filth. Even though there is street cleaning, most people simply throw their trash out onto the streets.

Just today, while sitting in a taxi, I ate part of a grapefruit. When I was through, the taxi driver kindly rolled down the window as we were driving down the street so that I could fling it out the window! He was a bit surprised when I declined, too. The people's behaviors and mannerisms are markedly different from what I'm used to. Never have I been stared at so much in my entire life! And this is the country in which I'm supposed to be able to blend in, being dark-haired and short. Even if I live here for the next 12 months, I still won't be able to figure out how the locals know I'm "viet kieu."

Last minute ticket

You might ask why didn't I just buy a ticket to leave at the same time as my family? And you would be asking the same question my entire family asked me. From the very beginning, the Fulbright program strongly discourages all grantees to enter their host countries on tourist visas. I needed a host university to sponsor my visa (and the process for this goes all the way to the President of the university, and not just inter-departmental), but the university had its own academic schedules and priorities. The College of Humanities and Social Sciences of the Viet Nam National University (which I wanted to have as my host institution) was in final exam mode, and then they were not in session, and loads of other reasons complicated my getting a visa. They advised me not to risk going on a tourist visa which did not allow me to work or do research or use the facilities, etc. // In the end, I had to purchase a separate ticket to fly to VN with my family, pay for an expedited tourist visa, and return to the U.S. in late August with my momther and sister (Dad and Tuan-Anh were scheduled to leave on 17/08 b/c of work and school). // Thinking back, I was rather foolish. Waiting until they contacted me costed us at least three to four weeks which I desperately needed to prepare for my trip. I ended up packing for VN in one day, grabbed my passport, and prayed as I got on the plane that I didn't forget anything.

Our family survived (barely!) the long trip from San Francisco to Manila, but we felt like minced meat getting off the plane. I noticed that when we lifted off from and landed on the airport runways, there was utter chaos. Flight attendants didn't bother asking people to be seated, instead. Passengers were still pulling things out of the over head bins and exchanging seats. Someone once remarked that when you fly out of the country on a non-US carrier, the moment you lift off from the land is the moment you lose all self-control. It seemed to me as if all these people had been holding themselves inside this polite veneer. As soon as we took off, this invisible thing called "the need for polite society" was lifted, and everything came falling out. // It was dark when we arrived in the Philippines, and the day woke as slowly as we did. I saw my first Filipino sunrise in Manila on the dawn of August 29th. We were on an island surrounded by the Pacific ocean, so we had to peek through the layers and layers of blue and white clouds to see the sun's colors. Had I been more awake and alive, I would have appreciated it more thoroughly. As it was, that sunrise was wasted when it poured out over our tired bodies. // This was also the first time I had to pay to use the public restroom. There were people standing in front of the men's and ladies' bathrooms, asking for money. It was rather interesting to know that the guys blatantly asked the men who entered for more money if they were flashing dollar bills. This marked the beginning of my trip...having to gird my loins and straighten my shoulders to steadily and readily pay for every service I've taken for granted in the past 19 years of my life.//

Visa, visa, where are you?

Some of you are thinking that this is my official trip. In actuality, this is only a preliminary trip that I was forced to take. You're thinking, "Yeah, right, sure she has the money to arbitrarily fly to VN and spend a month playing around." The truth is, my whole family has never been back to visit Viet Nam since we left in 1986. That's 19 years of separation for my parents--let's call it separation anxiety--in many senses of the phrase, too. They wanted to visit Viet Nam and also wanted to "escort" me on my first trip back. Everything was going smoothly, we purchased tickets for Mom, Dad, Sister, and Brother, to go on tourist visas. They were set to go on the 22nd of July, returning on the 17th and 28th of August. Both my parents and my brother flew from Texas to Berkeley a few days before the flight to VN, bringing with them 9 suitcases and carry-ons. As the day approached, they were packing and re-packing their bags while I waited and waited for my visa from the Fulbright. Four days before they were to leave, I received an email from the Fulbright Program Director in VN saying they would not be able to get my entry visa until mid-August, if even then. "Let's wait," they said. // This meant I would be sitting in Mai-Anh's apartment, peering out her bay windows waiting for my visa, while my family went to Viet Nam for a month.

On the road...

Mom, chi Mai-Anh, chi Linh, Moon, and I took a tour from Saigon to Nha Trang then through to Da Lat. There were four other families on the tour with us, so the tour company "Van Hoa Viet" piled us into a 25-seat van. For the money that we paid, the 5 days/4 nights trip was rather well organized. They booked hotels for everyone for two nights in Nha Trang, and two nights in Da Lat. Meals were at different restaurants and/or hotel restaurants. It was nice not having to clean or cook.

There isn't anything as disconcerting as being swallowed by a sea of street vendors who want to sell their products. On the road to Da Lat, we had to pass through Deo Quan Muc and stopped at a rest area at the top of the mountain. Even before we got off the tour bus, there were at least four vendors blocking the door, shoving chips and gum and sodas and candies in our faces, begging us to buy. When we decline and walk away, they follow us around. As we took pictures, the kids would say, "Definitely Americans," nodding their heads like none is the wiser for knowing that we're not locals.