A friend recently told me about a website where you are able to get excellent info on wellness and health issues. It is also where you can take the free Real Age test, whereby you answer loads of questions about your eating habits, excercise habits (or lack thereof), your physical weight, height, etc., to determine whether you are biologically younger, older, or the same as your birthday age.
So I go to the website, hi ha hi hung, tuong rang minh se lam ta khon, se duoc it nhat 1 hoac 2 tuoi tre hon la tuoi thiet. Little did I know! Sau khi tra loi all those questions, that ra, minh gia hon 3 tuoi lan! Ay yay yay... tiec thay, tiec thay. Xau ho ghe vay do, ba con co bac oi!
How could I have possibly known? 3 years! I feel prematurely aged... like cheese getting moldy before its time, like black grapes losing their sweetness b/c they were left out too long under the sun.
Why, you ask, am I biologically older than my birthday age? Probably b/c I sit too often in front of my laptop instead of getting my necessary 30-minutes of physical activitiy each day. That's why. My fingers get more exercise than that any other part of my body, and my buttocks are flat as banh xeo -- and less appealing, let me tell you.
Though I'm not really that old when you count the years in the greater scheme of things, I still feel slightly rusted, used, like heavy cream that's been sitting around for too long. My knees are creaking, and my joins ached. My eyes are shot -- I'm practically blind and will probably have to sit in one place if anyone ever, ever accidentally washes my contact lenses down the drain (which, of course, my dear sister has done before. Needless to say, there was much screaming and tearing of hair... not mine, either).
I feel like I never had the party but have already went over the hill! RealAge.com, drats, drats, drats!
(Photo taken at the DE YOUNG Fine Arts Museum San Francisco)
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