Whatever my feelings are about the state of the church and the condition of our faith communities, I know that it is one thing to be critical and another to be ordained -- it is not a Calling to take lightly. It takes more than just a feeling of being "strangely warmed" (a la John Wesley) to be a fit priest/minister/pastor.
There are many, many ordinands who get stuck in the bureaucratic loop and never get ordained. This is a tragedy for the church. We too often become mired in protocols and procedures and forget the important questions. Bound by our Book of Discipline, by our canons and our constitutions, we often lose sight of the answers and questions that are really important to us. The Boss once relayed to me three questions that he heard/acquired from someone/somewhere else (there's a story here that I've forgotten, but I vaguely remember the questions).
Do you love God?
Do you love me?
Do you love God enough to carry out God's mission?
The third question may be something I just made up, but I know the first two are correct. But if they are not the original questions, they ought to be. Love God. Love our neighbors. Do God's work (e.g. seek love, peace, and justice for all). If we love God too much and don't love our neighbors enough, we cannot carry out The Great Commission. If we love our neighbors only, there is nowhere to go and nowhere to begin.
Somewhere in my memory is the story of when my parents first arrived in the U.S. to begin parish ministry. While we were waiting for my father's first appointment at a local church in southern CA, the congregation where we first visited in San Francisco refused to help our family. Not one member would assist us in the short week that we stayed in the Bay Area awaiting our flight down to southern CA. My parents were not fluent in English and when they asked for assistance with translation, they were refused. One member (who later became ordained in the Vietnamese Southern Baptist church -- ironic isn't it) told them they would eventually have to figure it out anyway so why ask for assistance. Their refusal to help, their coldness, makes me question whether it is/was worth the time, energy, and heart.
When I think of these histories, and remember these people who profess One Great Faith, they are ugly. These stories and experiences leave bitterness in my mouth, and my eyes blur with anger and frustration and sadness. I feel heartsick for my parents back then -- a young immigrant couple in their 30s with three young kids, all eager to start fresh in "the fields of the Lord." I recall these "Christian folks" and I feel sadness, anger, even hate. I wonder how it is that we could have ministered in their presence, and I wonder how my parents could have loved them enough to worship with them.
I remember other stories. Bitter stories. I remember the time that a particular white congregation asked our Vietnamese mission to leave the sanctuary of the church we were renting because it cost too much money to pay for electricity when our small group worshiped in the sanctuary. One of our congregants cried as he left the place of worship. That sanctuary was no longer a sanctuary, not holy, not filled with the spirit of God. When I recall that incident, I wonder, how could we have ministered in that place? How could we have been called to worship together with those people who cared more about electricity bills?
As my mind now envisions the group of us filing out of the sanctuary, I want to ask the pastor of that church back in that little city, Do you love God? Do you love us? Do you love God enough to let us worship in that space?
I remember a colleague of my parents who once questioned why they were so insistent on allowing their daughter to enter into ordained ministry. Underlying that question was the puzzlement over the appropriateness of allowing a woman to be ordained. My parents never wavered. They never doubted. Love God; love others; do God's work. What does it matter whether you are man or woman?
Dr.MAT faces big challenges ahead. The Spirit does not always lead us to safe waters. Sometimes we are challenged to big things, difficult missions. Love God? That's easy. Love others. That's the hard one. Even harder when I can see those faces that I find especially difficult to love. (You, you, you, and yes, you.)
Perhaps the motivation I need is not something I can drum up with my own willpower. It is something I am unable to change. This is where the work of the Spirit comes in.
Love God. That, I can do.
Love others. That, the Spirit can help me do.
Do God's work. That, we must do together.
Congratulations to the Rev.Dr.MAT.
May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. Amen.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. Amen.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. Amen.
May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen.
- Franciscan prayer
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