One Look Back

On the day of the finals for men's road cycling, the sky was a cloudy gray. The bystanders already lined the length of the concrete highway snaking it was way around the area of the Great Wall near Beijing. As the people were cheering on each bicyclist weaving their way toward the finish line, the competitors were heading into the last 200m of their arduous ride.

On the t.v., I could see the leader out front, a 22-year old racer from Luxembourg (I think) who was favored to win, and win by a large margin. The commentators on the t.v. remarked on his maturity, noting that even as a young twenty-something competiting for the first time in the Olympics, he had comported himself with great poise and demonstrated a lot of potential.

Yet, as I watched the t.v. screen, seeing those cyclists racing at lightning speed along the road, I witnessed this young athlete prove the commentators wrong. As he and his followers reached the 1.6meter mark, the racer favored to win began looking back. Perhaps he was seeing the shadowy figures inching forward on his left and his right. Perhaps he was sensing their raspy breaths on the back of his neck; perhaps he was feeling their sweat, smelling their frustration and hope and drive. Perhaps he was listening to their heartbeats reaching past him toward the finish line, toward the gold medal, toward that elusive podium where they might possibly stand listening to their national anthem blaring into the gray skies.

Regardless of what he was listening to, he was not concentrating on the finish line. Instead, he kept looking back at the other athletes approaching at his heels. For each glance backward, he lost what little edge and advantage that he had gained throughout the race. He lost the drive, and momentum when his concentration was distracted for one look back.

As the young athlete crossed the finish line, his clenched fist banged the handlebars of his bike in frustration and in acknowledgment of his loss. And it was not a loss of the gold, silver, or bronze medals, but of whatever confidence, faith, and hope that he had in himself.

What else has been lost for one look back, I wonder?