Roaming Buffets & Guests of Honor

"The Poor Invited to Feast"

In this Sunday's Lucan lesson (Luke 14:1, 7-14), Jesus advises that when we are invited to dine, we ought to take the lowest seat possible, not the seat of honor, in case someone else comes along and bumps us down a notch. At its simplest, Jesus's story is a lesson of humility: live humbly so that no one has to serve you humble pie. The story is not about a space or a place of honor; the "place of honor" (v.8) or the "lowest place" (v.9) are merely evaluative descriptors. The important lesson is about attending to our behavior, our way of thinking and living. The lesson is about how we live life as humble servants called to be stewards, not dignitaries waiting to be served and honored.

Last Monday, the Sister and I hosted a dinner for some UMC clergy in our new house. Because we do not have a regular sized dining table and our primary dining surface is a bar-table for four, we had to think really hard about who to invite and how many to invite. Not only that, we also had to build a menu that wouldn't require seating everyone at the table, but which would accommodate a mobile, plate-on-your-lap dining style. In the end, we decided on a style between stationed hors d'oeuvres and take-out. We set up food stations in the spacious dining room, used the china hutch as a bar, and then set chairs and bar stools all around. Guests were invited to grab the food from the make-shift "buffet line" and then they carried their plates to different corners to enjoy food & conversation. We eventually congregated in the living room, and everyone found a seat -- whether it was the sofa, armchair, rocking chair, piano bench, bar stools, whatever. All in all, the evening worked out quite well. I think it fair to say that everyone felt comfortable and welcomed. We were nourished by the food and the company of our friends and acquaintances. Plus, we were all sufficiently humbled by the brilliance, generosity, intelligence, and kindness of each person we met that evening.

Thinking back on that evening, I feel happy that we did not have a seated dinner. It would have required reducing the number of people whom we could invite and whose company we wanted to share. Setting up buffet style, or a roaming buffet, was the best way for us to avoid the sticky mess of seats of honor, and we didn't have to worry about who would sit next to whom.

I grew up in a family that is rather culturally diverse, and yet I would say that we are still quite traditional in many respects. For instance, Dad was always seated at the head of the table. As the father figure in the household, that was his designated seat. (And as a pastor, he was always the head of the house, regardless of where he sat, and regardless of which house he entered. He was always accorded the respect and honor of being a Man of the Cloth, a minister, a pastor, a clergyman.)

However, thanks to my parents, I learned early on that when guests entered our home, they would be given a "seat" of honor. Dad would always be the pastor, but guests were special and deserved to be hosted with honor and graciousness -- regardless of their background and affiliation. For me and my siblings, a strong sense of radical hospitality was instilled in us by our parents from an early age. It was not so much where they were seated at the dining table, but how they were treated in our company. We understood that no matter who walked through our doors and into our kitchen, we would ask "have you eaten" and then serve them something with grace and respect, and some Maggi soy sauce.

This reminds me of my brother and sister-in-law's wedding reception. I was quite pleased with how they managed the sticky mess of seating arrangements for the guests. The bride and groom reserved 20 tables at the restaurant, and when guests showed up, they were invited to choose their own seats. Those who came first selected their own tables, and as more and more people arrived, we asked them to fill in the gaps. There was some shuffling, but everything worked out in the end. No one could complain that they were placed at a "bad" table because they had selected their own seats. (Interestingly, many guests who arrived early chose to sit in the back instead of moving up front. Surprise, surprise. I guess they didn't want the "seats of honor" next to the stage!)

Perhaps what I'm trying to say is -- If you intend to host a dinner and can escape the seated dinners in your home, I wholeheartedly recommend roaming buffets with food stations. There can only be benefits:

• No need to worry about seating arrangements or place-cards
• More mingling and thereby more interesting conversation
• Roaming allows for faster digestion of foods
• You can actually dine & talk with your guests instead of running back and forth serving food

So, invite some friends, neighbors, the cripple, the lame, the poor, the blind, and throw yourself a roaming buffet. (Imagine: roaming buffet potluck style!)

Photo source: JESUS MAFA. The poor invited to the feast, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library, Nashville, TN. http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=48397 [retrieved August 29, 2010].